I make it a point to leave at EXACTLY 4:30pm. I make excellent time from work-get into Walgreens, weave my way through the dozen or so people in the aisle-all looking through what remains of the card section. The headers are gone and it's a bare minimum of selection-maybe 50 cards left in total. I decide that I'm going to get one that's 'mushy' since I usually don't choose them. So, I look at about six or seven cards before selecting this one:
Pretty much what I wanted to say...and not too mushy. I'm in good shape-I mean-how often is it that, in a pinch, you can find a card that says exactly what you want to say?...I pick it up, grab an envelope and head to the check out. I want to get home and write a few personal sentiments-Kelly will never know that I just bought the card. It was the icing on the proverbial cake (I sent her flowers at work too...).
I grabbed a candy bar on my way to the register where Justin Bieber's twin brother rang me up. He looked at the candy bar, scanned it, looked at me and then took the card from the counter, scanned it, looked at me again-with a little 'look' and put the two items in a bag. I walked out of the store wondering what had Baby Bieber so creased...maybe he couldn't find a valentine. Bummer, dude.
Kelly tells me that she's leaving work right about the time I get home...so I figure I've got some time. I pick up a few things around the house-[we're in 'neurotic squirrel' mode trying to keep the place clean for any potential showing with the hope of selling and moving to a single family house] and sit down to check email.
A few minutes later, I pull the card out of the bag, open it up and read the inside again...thinking to myself "This is perfect! I can't believe I found this card so fast." In my head I start to recite some options for my hand written message...as I'm considering my options, I close the card and look at the front again, focusing on the picture...then I look at the wording and burst out laughing.
I don't think I even read the front of the card when I was in the store-I just looked at the photo and opened the card.
...and then it suddenly hit me: NOW I know why Baby Bieber was giving me the 'look'...and then I wonder why he didn't ask me about the card. As if it were his responsibility to sanity check the shoppers.
I briefly considered crossing out 'husband' and writing 'girlfriend' and continuing on knowing that Kelly would find it hilarious (especially since I'm always making it a point to tell her to pay attention to details), but I spent too much time laughing and couldn't get over how I missed such a prominent word on the front of the card.
Yeah, I'm almost positive that I didn't look at the words on the front of the card...oh well.
I'd just finished hyperventilating from laughter a few minutes before Kelly got home so I didn't actually fill it out-I didn't think I'd have time. Looking back, I should have filled it out anyway...(or tried)
I told Kelly that I got her a card but that I couldn't give it to her...and then I let her read it. We both laughed and she asked why I didn't fill it out and give it to her anyway (she's right, I should have!).
...maybe she can give it to me next year.
Background Tune: "Girls & Boys" by Blur
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