It's February already...I spent the bulk of January eviscerating the flu from my body. It's been a brutal flu season this year. I'm glad that I'm over it - I'll be getting a flu shot in spite of the fact that this year's has been largely ineffective - should I come across the next strain - it won't be as severe or lengthy to get through.
The Atlanta job market has been rough. I've applied to over a dozen positions in the last month and the few recruiters who have called me have told me that the salaries are 20-40% lower than what I was making previously. My wife has not been successful at finding anything here either - so the tentative plan is to not renew the lease that expires in May and move back to Chicago. There's a much greater chance for both of us to find a suitable position back there...and we'll be closer to family, friends and familiar surroundings. We're planning to rent an apartment for six months then buy a house in the middle of our respective jobs.
I'm having a really difficult time being unemployed - it's taxing my mental state. I feel like I've suddenly lost a lot of value in society and that's fucking with my self-respect. I'm used to being busy, responsible for important projects, making decisions that drive things forward. Now, I'm staring off into space, reading random books, watching some of the dumbest things on television and doubting myself about everything, walking around my subdivision just to have something to do. My memory for basic tasks is poor...because I have no greater purpose so my brain simply shuts down to conserve energy for the next 'nothing' I have to encounter. I'm looking at the very real prospect of being unemployed until we move so I'm going to have to find something to do until we do move or I really will lose my mind. I'll be found one early Sunday, wandering through the woods whispering to myself with no idea of who I am or why I'm in the woods.
I thought Atlanta was going to be more fun - a great adventure - but it's been largely disappointing for a variety of reasons. I have yet to feel 'settled' - partly due to not having an office to go into every day and partly because we're renting a house. There's no ownership vibe, in spite of the fact that we've done quite a bit of maintenance and minor repair to the house in the last 14 months. We're not in a neighborhood that's suited to our lifestyle and the traffic is fucking brutal. The one thing I felt guilty about was taking the little dude out of his school at the end of the year (his school year ends about a week before we're moving) because of his teacher...but she's just announced that, due to having her first child, she won't be returning next year so that guilt trip is over. Maybe it's a sign that returning to Chicago is a good thing.
I know one thing: I won't miss the cockroaches when we leave.
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