time keeps on ticking...ticking...into the future

I cannot believe I just used that song to title this entry. "Fly like an Eagle" by Steve Miller actually annoys the shit out of me.

Nikki and I wandered into the big scary city of Chicago last weekend via the Metra train. I found myself wondering, whilst in transit, why the hell I've EVER driven into the city. Am I a glutton for punishment? I don't think I'll ever drive into the city again if I can help it. The train kicks ass plain and simple. It costs $10 for a round-trip which is equal to 2.5 gallons of gas right now. The cost of the frustration of traffic is exponential to the cost of the train ticket. And, when I factor in the freak show that's sure to ensue on the train, it's simply no contest.

We walked about 15 miles once we arrived-it was nice to get out, move about and eat at one of the most expensive cheap restaurants in the city...$36 for two mediocre meals. From the outside, one can tell we're from the suburbs-people who live in the city wouldn't eat at this place, much less pay that kind of money for that kind of food. Every time I go into Chicago, I feel like a tourist...that needs to change.

Time continues on...We've been in our new apartment for just over a month and it's already better than the entire year at the old place. I'm looking forward to finding a house and not moving again. I'm growing tired of hanging pictures, shelves, etc. I'd rather spend the time watching the "monkey" grow up...spend time with Nikki and absorb my surroundings more effectively. It'd be nice to be able to get back on my bike and design another house...and maybe crank out another mediocre poem someday.

I have not heard anything about my grandmother-I need to get in touch with my father so I can find out what's happening-my hopes are not high. I just hope she lived the life she wanted and left in comfort if that's what has happened.

I find myself accepting mediocrity on a rather regular basis...and wonder how I got here? So many unfinished desires and projects...holy shit, I'm getting old. Worrying about all of my unfinished accomplishments...I thought only mid life crisis brought this crap on. It might be time to start looking at Corvettes...or just work on finishing my open ended projects (like reading the book I cannot find...)

I need a vacation...