ambivalence

I've been sort of working on the car...sort of just staring at it while it sits in the garage doing nothing.  Waiting.  For me.  To do something with it.  Make it better...or just whole again.  I'm ambivalent about the situation right now.  It's discouraging.  The money goes out faster than it comes in.  Most people don't know where it goes but I do...and it's not the car.

I managed to sell some of the parts that have been sitting in the garage-some I was just going to throw away-good thing I posted them!  Clearing out, making space...and trying to organize what I have to expedite the reassembly process when it comes around.  It's weird to look at a tray full of bolts and washers and know exactly where they all go...it's also kind of cool (at least to me).

I've been on edge the last few weeks...maybe even months.  I don't really understand why-except that I'm sort of stuck at a job that uses 5% of my brain.  I have to stay there until June because I've built up enough vacation time for Kelly and I to get married and go on a honeymoon.  I can pretty much quit right after we come back-assuming I find a job that is more interactive and engaging.  I'm looking...

I have managed to ride my bike more in the last month than in the entire year of 2011...I'm working to get out more often-it's a great distraction from the car and costs nearly nothing.  Good alternative.

This thing...whatever it is...wanting everything and nothing all at the same time...ridiculous.

Background Tune: :::computer hum and clicking keys:::