So this morning, I'm getting on the highway to go to work...the on ramp splits into three lanes for the toll plaza (one IPASS lane at each end and a regular booth in the middle where people pay with cash). Following the normal 'zipper' pattern-one car on the left, then one car on the right-to flow with everyone else, I begin to merge into traffic. The car in the next lane, a black Mercedes, is about a nose behind me. I speed up to get out of the way and keep things moving. If I were behind him, I would have slowed down...pretty simple logic-I think.
Well, my counterpart in the Mercedes decides that I'm not entitled to be in front of him so he speeds up to cut me off. We wind up going down the on ramp next to one another in a single lane.
I have a smile on my face at the sheer absurdity of it all.
The guy in the Mercedes is serious. He's apparently worked his whole life (he's in his 50's, I'm guessing) to get this car and no two bit jackass in a Mazda is going to get in front of him on the on ramp! His sense of entitlement through the accomplishment of his black hunk of metal on tires won't allow for it.
Baron Von Douche, as I'll call him, edges ever closer to me in an effort to scare me off and 'win'...I stay where I am-in the actual lane (he's mostly in the shoulder on the right). The Jeep in front of us moves forward, I wind out second gear and chirp the tires with a wicked smile on my face. Bring it on, you old school no talent ass clown.
Once he sees that I'm not going to be subservient to his royal awesomeness...the Baron isn't so confident but his ego won't allow him to relent. I see him contemplating his position. I've got a smaller, faster car...but I wouldn't mind a new car...and a guy in a Mercedes is the perfect candidate to buy it for me. It's true in this case: The person who cares the least has the most control.
The whole thing is just a game to me but he's super angry that a lowly Mazda might beat him to the highway.
He must have an awesome job to get to...or someone ruined his morning by taking something away from him-thus he is now determined to make someone else 'pay'.
Sorry, buddy, it's not going to be me. You'll have to try your overbearing entitlement game somewhere else.
I speed up, he speeds up...I steer to the left slightly (toward the highway) and then back into the lane. He over corrects and winds up completely in the shoulder-all by himself-passed by the guy who was behind us.
As I get on the highway, I notice that the guy behind me is literally laughing out loud.
We make eye contact, he gives me a 'thumbs up'...
...and I merge across three lanes of traffic and go to work.
There's something about people-some of them anyway-in expensive cars...they forget that, like the rest of us, they have to wipe their own ass, brush their teeth and shower just like those of us who don't need a $90k car to show the world how important we think we are. I don't care what kind of car you have-learn to use it as well as you learned to use your computer or your phone. Don't expect others to cater to you on the road because your car cost more than most people's annual salary. It doesn't make you 'important'-it makes you an asshole. An asshole who will get cut off in traffic by people in cheaper cars with better driving skills.
I hope to see you again someday, BVD...maybe you'll have figured a few things out by then.
Background Tune: "Tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel" by BNL
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