Fake it ’til you make it or until someone realizes that you’re faking it-then it’s time to run away.

It's day four of the carousel installation and day 55 of the project (we didn't get started until day 39).

The carousels are 95% complete, control boards are installed, electrical is waiting on the circuit breaker.  Tomorrow is the magical day when they will spin for the first time.  It'll take another two weeks to develop the software for our site and get the items slotted properly-then it'll take us a couple of days to get the items moved from static shelving to the carousel.  Another week to tear down over 200 bays of static shelving to make space for pallet racking.  Then two weeks of slotting pallet items into their new locations.  All 45,000 items will wind up with a new bin location.

The official completion date of the project is Friday, 13 May 2011.  So far, we're right on schedule and I'm under budget (although I've probably now jinxed myself).  The greatest challenge so far is changing the processes currently used as a result of finding many more efficient methods of picking orders and putting stock away.  To say that a lot is going to change is an understatement...but it needs to change and this is an excellent catalyst.

I'm down to the point where conference calls replace work in the warehouse-business process re-engineering replaces standing around scratching my head wondering why things are done so awkwardly (or so many times).  Visio is one of my best friends right now-enabling me to elaborate eloquently about the ways in which we need to change processes to improve.  I have a flow chart that stretches 9 sheets of paper 11x17 to consolidate the currently manual process of receiving, allocating, putting stock away and shipping (including documents).  The current process involves four people to complete what will be fully automated in the next 60 days-requiring no one to help it along.

I sat in a conference call today with the 'guru' to discuss the upgrade of our forecasting software (another project that I initiated).  It's a project that should be mine but was given to him due to the project above (carousel & warehouse redesign).  An IT guy who couldn't tell the software developer on the conference call what the operating system was on the new server.  I let him flop around like a fish out of water for a couple of minutes-frantically searching the quote for a clue (hint: It's called "OS" on the quote).  I answered the question without looking at the quote  because I spec'd out the server and it was bought as spec'd.  He also couldn't understand how to duplicate/move a SQL database to a parallel program.  I suggested that he create a back up and restore that back up from the new program.  He essentially told me that wouldn't work...and then the software guy came back on the phone and basically told him to do exactly what I suggested.  I also got to explain to him how virtualized environments allow the operation of a 32 bit program on a 64 bit OS server.

If he's the IT guy and I'm not-how the hell is it that he can't move an SQL database, find the OS on a quote or understand how virtualization works?  He also didn't know how to set up ODBC on a standard computer. Uh, how about Google? (go ahead, click it...)

The IT village has lost its biggest idiot and I know where he is - I just need to figure out how to return him to them.  I wonder if there's a reward...you know, like a lost dog.

Background Tune: "Clifton Springs" by Steven Page